Johnny Vegas

There's barking mad, and then slightly to the bonkers side, there's Vegas. At first I didn't really get it, but then I had a drink and it all became much clearer (or much more hazy). You can indulge almost any vice you like in Vegas and you can choose exactly when you want to do it, and that's the point. I should think the only thing you can get arrested for is littering.
When you enter Las Vegas they search you for any sort of budget plans or spending limit you may have decided on. If they find any, they tear it up in front of you, laughing hysterically. You can do Vegas cheaply, but it's much easier just to spend some money.
I thought that I should gamble, as it would seem almost rude not to. I fancied Blackjack, as I can just about remember the rules. I walked up to a table, and then clocking the $50 minimum bet, stopped short and pretended to be watching. After a short while I slunk off to the 25c slots, and threw some money away. The 25c machines don't even do anything, there's no holding, nudging or gambling, you just press a button and win or lose. People load them up with hundreds of credits, and then just sit there for hours pressing a button until all the money is gone. The people I like best are the ones who have a charge card on a coiled cord, connected to their belt. When I saw rows of them plugged into the slot machines, connected by this little umbilical, I couldn't help thinking of the matrix.
Having experienced the thrill of gambling for a few brief moments, I had to see a show. Being the high net worth individual that I am, I went straight to the cut price tickets booth. Of course none of the really big shows are going to feature here, but as Celion Dion and Elton John are currently the big names I wasn't really bothered. The biggest comedy show at the moment is Rita Rudner (who used to be quite big in the UK) , and they had tickets for her show. What's more they were VIP tickets. This meant that I got to do a "meet & greet" with the star herself. This was a really bizarre event where a group of sad individuals like me lined up in order to have a few words with, and be photographed with, Ms Rudner. So I now have another hideous memento photo to go with the one of me praying for death on the Stratosphere ride.
So, completely overspent I move on to Flagstaff and the Grand Canyon, and hopefully some semblence of sanity.